De Stress The Holiday Mess!!
you...zen all season long!
Hello Happy Holiday Elves!!
The Holiday Season is upon us again. Spending time with family on special occasions can bring such joy and happiness but for many it can create overwhelming stress. Since you are the architect of all of your life experiences, decide how you want to feel this Holiday season. Then go about systematically making decisions that are in line with that result. There are big and small changes you can make this year to relieve stress and have Happy Holidays!
Below is a list of actions to:
De Stress the Holiday Mess:
1. Prep Before:
Create a gift list and budget and stick to it. Decide beforehand what gatherings you will attend and what you will bring. Choose easy, uncomplicated dishes that store well. Whatever you complete prior to holiday week will reduce your stress and leave you available to have a good time. No Christmas Eve shopping EVER!
2. Adjust Your Attitude:
Go into the season with the mindset of gratitude. Decide that no one has the power to take away your joy and mean it. Try to meditate ten minutes a day, master on the spot breathing techniques and carry a small bottle of Lavender essential oil for instant de stressing.
3. Keep Your Side Of The Street Clean:
You are only responsible for how YOU behave and react in all situations. If every year your mother in law criticizes your culinary skills, expect her to be different but if she is not, smile and do not utter a sound. Un Dial your energy from any stressful situation or person. See yourself as Un Offendable. You know that someone being rude or nasty is their issue and you can either choose to do your old familiar dance with them(and get offended which is code word for ego bruise…um…yuk!) or just…not. Don’t micro manage anything or anyone. Find family members whose company you enjoy and focus your time with them while affirming how calm, peaceful and grateful you feel. (Of course the key here is to FEEL it and hold that feeling in your chest.)
4. NO Is Not A 4 Letter Word:
You have the right to say no to anything that will take the joy out of the season for you or your family. If certain family gatherings create debilitating stress then give yourself permission to respectfully decline and create new traditions that bring you joy. If a situation is too toxic, it is your job to protect yourself from it. If you have children, let each one chose an event or party to attend that really matters to them, politely declining the rest. If exchanging gifts with grown siblings is too costly say so and perhaps pull names out of a hat so you are only buying for one person. If hosting is too much work and money, transition to a potluck meal with everyone contributing their own special flavor. Being over burdened financially or emotionally is not fun. Say no and feel good about taking care of yourself and your family.
5. Know When To Say When:
Drunks are stressful AND boring. This time of year produces many opportunities to overindulge in alcohol. The reasons not to drink too much are obvious. If you don’t think you drink too much and everyone else in your life thinks you do…HELLO you probably drink too much but that is a blog for another time.
6. Pay It Forward:
Remember what the Holidays are really all about and donate your time to help others less fortunate in your community. This is a wonderful way to teach children the importance of service to others and to keep your head at the heart of what really matters. Forgive a grudge you have been holding and reach out, help an elderly neighbor or family member, go out of your way to communicate your gratitude to the important people in your life for their presence. No material gift ever received is as satisfying as truly making a difference in someone else’s journey (although those new Louboutins platform pumps come pretty darn close…hee hee…kidding!)
I hope that some of these ideas help you create the holiday experience you seek, filled with love, light joy and laughter.
Sending you twinkling lights and sugar plum hugs!
Love Love Love
Your Chill Holiday Angel,
Terri
Great thoughts and ideas Ter. Wish I had read this before embarking on booking our holiday flight with frequent flyer miles. I was on the phone and computer (simultaneously) for nearly 3 hours. OMG! Good news … it’s done! Moving on to joyous holidays with some lavender oil in my bag!
Thanks,
Linda
hey lin-
a feet of herculean strength to not get homicidal after 3 hours so GOOD JOB!!!
yes family holidays require lots of lavender AND energy work…remember to zip ‘em all up as soon as you walk in the door!!!
love love love
ter
Of added importance to teaching kids about donating time and service or things of their own they don’t need anymore- the lesson that they are not just receiving machines but are capable of being instruments of giving. It’s not a cliche that it is better to give than receive. There’s a lot of veracity in that statement. Maybe some of the current mess on Wall Street is linked to people who grew up believing it was all theirs for the taking.
Excellent advice, Terry. It’s so important to be grounded and to plan as much as possible because that helps everything go much smoother. Also, what I wouldn’t give to have those Louboutin pumps!
I didn’t mean to mispell your name, Terri. It was a typo – honest!
vic-
thank you for your insight…so true about the power of giving and what amazing and positive feelings it creates in children. kindness=goodness
xo
daryl-
so true about having a plan and dreaming of those pump!!! J LO may have ruined them for me though as her new song sings about putting on her LOUBOUTINS as revenge against her lousy boyfriend and his bad behavior!!
xo
Ter-
Thanks for the good practical advice on surviving the holiday stresses. I love the idea of giving to others who have less. This year my mother is letting my children select a gift of giving from Samaritan’s Purse equal to the amount of money she would have spent on gifts for them. A wonderful lesson of giving for children.
Kathy.
kath-
what a great idea!! i am interested to see how the children respond to this experience. what a gift to create the awareness in them so young, of the power of Paying It Forward!!
xo
Ter,
GREAT advice. Simple step by step.. I like it!
I don’t have much to worry about out here… not really much family out here, but good idea about saying NO to people who want to exchange. I kind of combined a few steps of yours.. Burned a holiday album i recorded and donated a few dollars in their name to my charity of the year, the LIVESTRONG (Lance Armstrong) Foundation. Holler! Two birds with one stone! (what a horrible saying.. )
THANKS!
H
xoxo
I think the part about keeping your side of the street in check is so important! It just reminds me in this busy time that everybody(including that annoying family member) is just trying to get through the holidays and enjoy each other. He/she/me may not be perfect, but nobody is! Thanks for that prompt towards self-awareness.
Hey Ter-
Loved the blog, especially the reminder about saying NO. Learning to say NO to those things we don’t want to do is key, The best gift you can give yourself this holiday is the gift of being PRESENT and one of the nicest things your can bring to someone else’s home is your undivided attention and positive energy. Stress certainly has a way of stealing the “now” leaving us drained and unaware! Happy Holidays!!!
heidi-
good for you!!!! starting young is the way to go. when we do what is in our hearts and not what we think we “have” to do at holiday time it makes for a much more real experience-thanks for sharing!!
xo
kar-
thank you for shedding light and moving me towards empathy for the “annoying” family memebr!!! you are so correct-we are all just figuring it out as we go aren’t we??? i missed the instruction manual…you??? :0
xo
car-
great insight and thank you for sharing it. i will keep that little gem in my mind this season. if my main job this year is to be where i am and not doing a zillion other things in my mind…i think i can do that!!!!
love love
Hey Terri
Hear my joy? I gifted your blog. I forwarded it to all I know! This year all may get lavender oil!
How right you are. Thank you for the great and timely gifts of wisdom!! You solved my problem of how to bring light and warmth into the winter seasons blanket of darkness and cold.
My gift~ One simple made or purchased symbolic gift multiplied by however many you need. It is a simple way to share your heart & simplify your life.
Hope that helps someone!
I love your light, joy, laughter, twinkling lights and sugar plum hugs!!!
LJLTL&SPH! 2 U 2!!!!
I may have to put that on the lavender oils it is so sparkly & uplifting!
kyle-
great idea!! thank you for sharing your thoughts and my blog !!
xoxoxo